The struggle is…
Knowing that the human heart was built to break, and when it does, as it will, the feeling is a way of remembering the deep things of life that need remembering.
Chapter 20, page 171, Cowboys Are Not Supposed to Cry
That is my grief. And if I may hazard a guess it could very well summarize yours also.
Within it is the trust and permission that we so long for both from God, from others and mostly from ourselves. To be able to move into our life after.
For me this is where my faith comes in. My faith in my savior Yeshua (Jesus) and an after life where there will be no more crying, tears, and pain. Yet, often the resulting grief from the death of my young wife has thrown a silence over my faith.
The struggle is real…
Do I blame God? Am I angry with God? Her death irrevocably altered my life. I say I still believe and I go through the motions on the outside, showing an image to the world, but inside… do I believe?
Chapter 20, page 172, Cowboys Are Not Supposed to Cry
My journey is one of faith, sometimes real and heavy and other times faint and seemingly non-existent. All the while God, even after the publication of my memoir continues to whisper,
That is mostly all I hear when I voice the questions that still haunt me both in the days and the nights. He is asking me to trust him, yes, but also to trust myself. More so to give myself permission to grieve, to feel it all. The sadness, the anger, the pain, and now the joy that can be found in my life after. Letting ourselves feel it all and not riding off from it.
The struggle is…
When God seems silent and distant, we should desire to remain there, captured by him.
Chapter 20, page 176, Cowboys Are Not Supposed to Cry
Now, the choice is yours. What will you choose?
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> If you are struggling with moving forward following the death of a loved on and searching for your best Life After, reach out.
Leave a comment or email me at in**@ma**********.com. I’ll follow up with some additional information and how to book a free call to chat and see if I can help. Thanks!
I am Mark W. Schutter, Life After Coach and Author of the memoir, Cowboys Are Not Supposed to Cry, and we all need a little support sometimes.
Read my thoughts on previous chapters of my memoir, links below.
Part 1 – Reconciling the Past
- Revisiting Chapter 1 – Out of the Sun
- Revisiting Chapter 2 – A Far Better Place
- Revisiting Chapter 3 – Walking Away
- Revisiting Chapter 4 – Still Miles to Walk
- Revisiting Chapter 5 – Death is Only the Beginning
- Revisiting Chapter 6 – To Love What’s Leaving
- Revisiting Chapter 7 – I Am the One Dying
- Revisiting Chapter 8 – The Lingering Ambiguity
Part 2 â€“ Embracing the Present
- Revisiting Chapter 9 – Wearing Masks- Who Are We Really?
- Revisiting Chapter 10 – A Different Trajectory
- Revisiting Chapter 11 – Not Wanting to Be Alive
- Revisiting Chapter 12 – Birthdays, Anniversaries, and Other Triggers
- Revisiting Chapter 13 – We Choose the Scars We Will Carry
- Revisiting Chapter 14 – As the World Moves On
Part 3 – Redeeming the Future
- Revisiting Chapter 15 – The Judgment of a Bad Man
- Revisiting Chapter 16 – Holding Space to Dream Big
- Revisiting Chapter 17 – Physical Beauty and Emotional Scars
- Revisiting Chapter 18 – Death Feeds Life, Children
- Revisiting Chapter 19 – Wrecked on Schedule
Now, saddle up! The adventure that is your Life After awaits!