If you are struggling with moving forward following a loss and searching for your best “life after”, let me know. Leave a comment or email me atย info@markschutter.com, Iโll follow up with them with some additional information and how to book a 15 minute call to see if I can help.
> Thanks! I am Mark Schutter, Grief Coach for men and author of the memoir ‘Cowboys Are Not Supposed to Cry’
In the last few paragraphs of this chapter I paraphrase the C.S. Lewis quote about nonsense questions that God finds unanswerable which we ask in the midst of our pain. How I believe God may simply wave them away in compassionate silence.
So many questions still linger to this day and I am better at living with no answers… most of the time.
Things happen, and we must just continue to paddle through the rapids of our lives. #ThingsHappen #Quote #Memoir #Grief #Healing #CowboysAreNotSupposedtoCry
I recall an incident at the cancer institute where I was overcome with emotion at the perceived lack of compassion and concern for my wife and I uttered, quick loudly, some obscenities in a waiting room full of people. I still carry a lot of the pain, the hurt, and the confusion from those events that occurred many years ago and yet I know that now I am not the same as I was then.
My fears that began when she was diagnosed and grew through her illness and eventually her death are still with me to an extent. Some I have reconciled and even embraced. Some I have buried and I know I need more healing. I leave that to God and his timing… but I must be an active participant when it is time.
Only recently as I embark on a new business of coaching and mentoring others through grief have I begun to truly ask the question of what it is that grief asks of us.
What has your grief asked of you?
Get your copy of Cowboys Are Not Supposed to Cry here >
This scene caught my attention the other night while watching The Abyss with my family.
Why do we continue to perpetuate this belief? We see it in so many things in our society and especially in entertainment.
While the statement may be well intended… what harm does it cause?
I have spent a lifetime trying to live up to this lie. You can read my story in my memoir “Cowboys Are Not Supposed to Cry” available on Amazon and other online retailers.
I am conducting market research gathering information from people like you about grief, loss, and healing. This data will help me to create the best resources for those who are hurting and struggling.
If you’re willing to answer a few questions send me a DM and we’ll setup a time to chat.
This is not a trick to get you on a sales call. Promise!
What hides behind the smiles and the vacant eyes? Arenโt we tired of wearing masks? โ Mark Wayne, Cowboys Are Not Supposed to Cry #Memoir #Grief #Healing #LifeAfter #Tramua https://amzn.to/3kdR49E
Chapter 9, Wearing Masks – “Who Are We Really?” is the beginning chapter of Part 2: Embracing the Present of my memoir Cowboys Are Not Supposed to Cry.
This chapter bounces from the recent present, to the fall of 2004 when my only child was born, and back to the summer of 1993 in the months following Luka’s death. The questions I pose throughout this chapter still remain to this day, although many have lost much of their roar and ferocity simply by the act of naming them and casting them out into the world through my memoir. And there is this…
Can a mortal ask questions which God finds unanswerable? Quite easily, I should think. All nonsense questions are unanswerable. ~C.S. Lewis #Quote #WickedQuestions #UnanswerableQuestions
Life is filled with unanswered and unanswerable questions and life seems so random at times. But what if there was a purpose of something larger than ourselves. how would we then live? The questions that haunt our waking hours would slowly melt away and others might rise to take there place.
God, what are you up to in all of this?
What is my true role in all of this?
What is my impact on others?
How can I … (fill in the blank)
Just a few questions that I have pondered as I walk this path set before me. As opposed to the why me questions, that still pop up from time to time. Pulling on my boots and moving forward because sometimes when you can you should.
I plodded through my days, often feigning a reluctant acceptance because, you know, cowboys don’t cry; they just ride away.
CHAPTER 9, WEARING MASKS – “WHO ARE WE REALLY?” – PAGE 85, MARK W. SCHUTTER
Read my thoughts on Part 1 – Reconciling the Past and the first eight chapters of my memoir, links below.
I need help in answering a few questions for market research related to grief and healing.
What grief are you still carrying?
Iโm going all in on a new business coaching, mentoring, and helping men who are struggling with grief and healing from a traumatic experience and loss. Whether that be from the death of a loved one, relationships ending, financial hardship or job loss, the loss of a pet, and even the loss of a dream. Grief in it’s many forms impacts us all.
My memoir Cowboys Are Not Supposed to Crywas published last year which chronicles my own journey through loss, grief, and healing. I have my first hand experience walking through my own valley of the shadow to a life after and to make sure I have the greatest impact, and help the most men with the right solutions โ Iโm asking for your help in doing some market research.
Men needed, is this you?
My goal is to interview 50 people, โ yes, you read that correctly- so that I can get the best and most comprehensive insight as to what is needed in the area of navigating grief and healing for men from trauma.
The interview would only take between 15-30 minutes, and I promise, this is NOT a trick into asking people to be my clients, this is literally just market research so I make sure my programs and offerings are exactly what is needed.
Would you mind doing an interview with me? To make it super easy, just send me an email to mark@markschutter.com, let me know you are in and weโll schedule a call.
Like I said, my goal is to interview 50 people so any help you can offer would be greatly appreciated.
My ideal client…
Describes themselves as male who has experienced a significant loss regardless of when it happened and struggles with moving forward, healing, and finding purpose in their life after. They ultimately want joy, contentment and purpose for their lives but havenโt been able to get there on their own yet.
And I have an ask of the women too!
Iโm hoping you might know 1-3 men who fit the description above. And if so, would you be willing to introduce them to me?
If yes for this, then please email me at mark@markschutter.com, CCโing whoever you have in mind and Iโll follow up with them with some additional information and how to book a call.
Like I said, my goal is to interview 50 men and a few women, so any help you can offer would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
And you can purchase Cowboys Are Not Supposed to Cry at any of the following >
Disclaimer: This post was written the day after the Good Friday and Easter weekend that I as a Christian celebrate. This year was also the 29th anniversary of her death on Good Friday in the year 1993. I was 28 years old when she died, thus I have been alive longer without her than I was alive when she died. ~Mark W. Schutter
One if the many reviews and feedback I have received for my memoir. I am blessed and also left with this lingering ambiguity regarding my story and it’s impact on others.
Even after writing my memoir, having it edited and published I am still left with many unanswered questions. Many that I believe will never be answered this side of heaven. When someone is dying and the dreaded end is evitable what then?
All the promises and the vows that no longer matter, ’till death do us part.’ The heartfelt pleas and prayers that went unanswered while time simply marches on. The ambiguity that can surround grief often leads to feelings that emerge that are not common. The expression or stifling of those feelings can lead to disappointments, disagreements, conflict, and confusion for all involved.
Death can bring out the best in people and the worst. And in those momentsgrace for ourselves and others is sometimes hard to find.
I realize now of many things I did without much thought for the impacts on myself and others. I trudged through the days expecting more of myself, more of those around me, more from the world and from God. I have since realized that for many years I never gave myself permission to feel, to grieve my loss. (And that is a story for another chapter later in the book. ๐)
I was just beginning to learn how to embrace my life as it was now, not as I wished it to be, for that was the only way to see a future. #Grief #Healing #LifeAfter #Trauma
Mark Wayne - Author and Warrior 