Alone into the Alone

A far better place—the phrase echoes through my mind, and my faith tells me to believe in this. As a Christian don’t the words of our God tell us there is a far better place?

Yet I ask, what does that mean, and how do we know? We don’t know I often want to scream back. Instead, I and nod in a feinted attempt at agreement, holding onto hope, that there is a far better place.

An interesting chapter and maybe the most philosophical of the entire book, as I ask the questions that many have asked before me. The theological questions of life after death, what happens to us, is there a heaven and if so isn’t there a hell? Even atheists and agnostics with no faith in a god or a higher power have asked the question, wondering what is there after we die?

The last paragraph of chapter 1 of my memoir Cowboys Are Not Supposed to Cry speaks of Luka’s belief in a far better place. (You can read my thoughts and revisit of chapter 1 here.)

Luka was the one facing her own mortality, not me. She was the one who must venture alone into the alone, not me. I wonder even now what thoughts ran through her mind that she did not share with me. Or worse still those thoughts she did share and I have long forgotten. Her words tossed aside as if they were of no more importance than a scrap of garbage. What are you supposed to do with that?

Believe… in life after otherwise what’s the point?

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  1. Some very good, and heartbreaking questions. Only the Creator can answer of course, but we do try to come up with those answers all on our own don’t we.

    You said, “Luka was the one facing her own mortality, not me.” I tend do disagree with that. I believe you faced her mortality just as much, just in a different way. You had to stand by and watch it come, without being able to stop it. You had to grapple with the same question she had to, where was she going??? I think you both were faced with mortality and both suffered from the reality of it. That is part of the pain for you and those who have lost someone.

    Thank you so much for sharing!

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