It has been a rough last few weeks. Truth be told it’s been a rough past few months and even the whole year of 2020. I am not even talking about COVID-19, stay at home orders, social distancing, fears of infection from the virus, racial and civil unrest or even the current chaos of our political system.
Simply said my family has watched a beloved member’s health slowly decline. So much so that in the end it is hard to see who they once were. Illness and disease can do that to you.
Yet we can still hold hope, for ourselves and others, of better days ahead. As Job’s faith stayed fast even during his trials, I pray that we can all do the same.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart. And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. ~Proverbs 3:5-6
I have lost my faith,
not my belief
I have misplaced it,
and it cannot
I will still search,
I will hold my faith,
I still will believe,
I still will trust,
your truth in
This past week we lost our beloved dog, Sadee Jayne ❤ (See this week’s Wordless Wednesday photo of her.) She was the fourth member or our pack and we had twelve wonderful years together. Her death has rekindled many memories of grief for me. Thus leading me to lots of questions, similar questions to those I have written about in my upcoming memoir ‘Cowboys Are Not Supposed To Cry.’
I know I struggle not in losing my faith but in misplacing it if you will. It tends to ebb and flow when I allow my belief to be based on my emotions and what is happening to me and around me. Often building my faith on a precarious stack of rocks instead of on the rock. I believe we need to focus more on the truth that does not change.
“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” ~Hebrews 13:8
You will take me down Into the depths feeling I might drown For you know it is there can I truly see The glorious beauty of your majesty
Into the mystic all around My pounding heartbeat the only sound Fly away to where we were meant to be Revealing to us your holy mysteries
You will take me down Break these chains that keep me bound I want to live in shameless freedom From now until your coming kingdom
Life and glory can be found Let the false intimacy come unwound Renouncing the enemy’s bastard accusations Evil fears its pronounced damnation
You will take me down Exchanging my ashes for a beautiful crown For love and mercy linger in a secret place Freely given is your unveiled grace
Spending lots of time lately thinking about ‘holy mysteries’, life and death. Our purpose, destiny and futures if we fully devote yourselves to God’s call on our lives. Yes, it will be scary and overwhelming at time and we might even feel like we are drowning and that is when we might fully come alive and live the life we were created to live chasing the dreams God has given us.
The journey has begun from draft manuscript to published book.
Please Note: This is most likely not the final cover only a draft I created.
The manuscript, about the author bio, back of the book blurb and foreword have all been submitted to the Editing Department. Next steps is comprehensive edit with suggested changes submitted back to me for further editing and approval. It is a little nerve-wracking and exciting at the same time.
The foreword was written by a good friend of mine who I first met through a professional relationship many years ago. The following is a short excerpt from the foreword he wrote for my book, which I absolutely love. He captured the theme, tone and purpose of my story perfectly. He knows my journey intimately and I am honored he would do this for me and very appreciative.
“This book is for people who have had real pain. People who have loved and lost, and are struggling to move on.” #Memoir #Foreword #UpcomingBook > ‘Cowboys Are Not Supposed To Cry’
I have also submitted ideas to the Cover Design Department to begin the process of creating a book cover. I look forward to the creative ideas from the cover designer. More to come on that progress in a future post.
I will leave you with this – if I can write a book so can you if you want to. It took me over 25 years to finally complete the manuscript. Many years of contemplation, learning, living and healing until I could pull it all together into a whole over the last 3 years. And now I am a mere months away from having a published book in my hands and maybe yours!
You can > Reconcile your Past, Embrace your Present, and Redeem your Future! #LiveYourDreams #JustBelieve #HopeLives #Memoir #Grief
What are we to make of this? I reckon whether it is righteousness, mercy, justice or punishment we all have it coming. In the film Gladiator, Maximus played by Russell Crowe makes the following statement at the beginning of the film before a big battle scene.
“What we do in life, echoes in eternity.”
Whether this is true or not, whether you believe it or not, I do believe there are things we do in this life that will echo in eternity. The biggest of these is the decision where we will spend eternity after we die. Yes, I believe that decision is left to us, via our own God granted free will.
That is the reckoning we all have coming and it is based on our ultimate choice. And each little choice we make each day and each hour can lead us towards this final choice. Either towards blessings or curses, heaven or hell.
“There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, “Thy will be done,” and those to whom God says, in the end, “Thy will be done.” All that are in Hell, choose it. Without that self-choice there could be no Hell. No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it. Those who seek find. Those who knock it is opened.” ― C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce
“There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, “Thy will be done,” and those to whom God says, in the end, “Thy will be done.” ~C.S. Lewis ‘The Great Divorce’ #Quote #Choices #HeavenOrHell
The phrase “Do not fear” in one form or another occurs in the bible hundreds of times from Genesis to Revelation and Jesus says “Do not fear” fourteen times. If I may be so bold as to paraphrase Jesus in the vernacular of today and in relation to our current situation.
“I have this all under control.”
There is a peace beyond understanding and I pray this for all who are reading this now in the days to come. It is a crazy, mixed up, shook up world right now and we all need strength to face what this way comes. Treating each other as fellow brothers and sisters, not as political ideologies and social agendas. As C.S Lewis said,
“There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a meremortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations – these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit – immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.”
“There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a meremortal. ~C.S. Lewis #Quote
Yes! 😉 Today is my birthday! 🎂 Oh’ happy day right? 😃
Sometimes I am not so sure. What I mean is I have less years in front of me than I do behind me so another birthday is a reminder that time here on earth is finite. Time to get moving, live your dreams, seek your purpose, leave the world and others a little bit better.
AND WHAT GOOD IS A LIFE, THAT LEAVES NOTHING BEHIND, NOT A THOUGHT OR A DREAM, THAT MIGHT ECHO IN TIME ~Trans Siberian Orchestra “What is Eternal” from Beethoven’s Last Night #SongLyrics #Poetry #Music #Questions @trans_siberian
So with that happy thought ringing in your head, a question for you. Do you find a motivating quote, scripture, picture or something else to guide you? As I traverse this life between the eternities I often look to scripture for guidance, inspiration and solace. The following verse gives me strength, hope and comfort when the world seems out of control.
There are many others including quotes and even just photos that often have the same effect in calming my soul. Check out my Wordless Wednesday posts!
What about you? I would love to hear what gives you moments of respite during these chaotic and often confusing times.
With the lock downs and stay at home orders over the recent months it has been a while since my family has actually attended a live church service. This little poem is an attempt to capture the false sense of security we seek within the church that can only be found in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
It is not in a great worship band, the music and lights, dynamic preaching, or even the fellowship we find in connecting with others. All good things no doubt but they can also lead us to put our faith and trust in “the sweet poison of the false infinite” to quote C.S. Lewis.
We need more than that for our broken hearts and to slake the longing within our souls. The church with all it’s good intentions can often be a place that unfortunately hurts us and alienates us even further from God.
We do not need slick presentations and entertainment we need truth. The truth is we need him now more than ever to save us from ourselves and we all need him to save us.
#JustBelieve #HopeLives #LoveChangesPeople
Sometimes there is no justice only mercy. (James 2:13) #Truth #Faith #Believe