#JustBelieve #HopeLives #YouMatter
#JustBelieve #HopeLives #YouMatter
To Know That You’re Alive – Kutless (a classic song from 2009)
This piece of flash fiction, if you will, came to me in a vision as I spent some quite time with God and this is what I saw in my mind as it was revealed to me. I believe in healing and that God can, and does, renew our hearts rescuing us from the darkness.
“To live is Christ, to die is gain”, what? How is that?
Death takes me further away from God, not closer. Death throws a silence over my faith. God is good. Let’s explore a little what it means to say that when:
Can you say ‘God is good’ and believe it when faced with an ending?
With no one to blame, is evil the easy answer? Or is it the answer for the cause of so much pain in the world?
Good people are hurt and evil continues unabated, while we make excuses.
Illness, sickness and death with no concrete cause leaves you with the consequence. What is the grand design and meaning if there are no coincidences?
My life was irrevocably altered and I say I still believe. Am I angry and blaming of God? Showing an image to the world on the outside, but inside… do I believe? This face I show the world is that the truth of me? The question remains, do I believe what I say I believe?
Alone in the dark, with God’s total utter silence. No words from beyond except for a faint whisper of “Trust me.” If faith is evidence of things unseen, I have the evidence.
What remains unanswered is why? The question that still haunts my waking and sleeping, but no answer ever seems forthcoming. “Trust me.” Do I have faith in the finality of that? What is next? A next life? Is it there? Heaven? Hell? Fade to black?
Time to give myself permission. Feel the fear, accept that loss and devastation may return. “Trust me.” It all makes me tired, very tired. Life is more than waiting for the ‘hammer to fall.’ The days and the years go by and the hole in your heart remains. “Trust me.” You laugh and love again. The joyful moments you desperately longed for return, but we fail because of the fear to live, present in the moments. Juxtaposing the past, present and the future. “Trust me.” Whispers through my mind while I feel a –
“Trust me.” Time to give permission to live, be happy and love again. Permission to enjoy, delight, cherish, feel everything and accept.
“Trust me.” And you wonder if you can love God, accept your destiny, your life, your fate, for “I have come so that they (you) may have life and have it more abundantly,” so a reminder to
(Originally written in October 2008, updated October 2010, October 2013 and again now, January 2017. Each time the mystery of unanswered questions continue as I contemplate my life’s journey the last twenty plus years. I am still learning to believe that hope lives. ~M)
My sarcastic travels through life while trying to remain true to myself and not kill others.
Break the silence. End the violence.
by Sonyo Estavillo
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