Grief, Life, memoir, Writing

Revisiting Chapter 14 – As the World Moves On

This is the last chapter in Part 2, Embracing the Present of my memoir, ๐‚๐จ๐ฐ๐›๐จ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐€๐ซ๐ž ๐๐จ๐ญ ๐’๐ฎ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ž๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐‚๐ซ๐ฒ and seems fitting as truly the world moves on after your loss and you have to somehow figure out and accept the reality. This means embracing the present in order to move on with it.

“Just as sure as the turnin’ of the earth.” – Ethan Edwards (John Wayne), The Searchers #quote #western #movie

The Searchers

One of my favorite movies, and allegory for my own life as I have spend so much time searching for answers to questions that haunt me. Questions of which most have no answers this side of the undiscovered (heaven).

I have learned that for my healing it has meant reconciling my past, embracing the present, and redeeming my future. Often in no particular order as grief is not linear and there are so many ‘secondary’ losses that pop up. Even years later sometimes, that I must wrestle with and heal from.

โฉ Grief is carried as we search for what it means to us.

There seemed to be a turning point for me in September of 2017 after returning from a family vacation to Yellowstone National park when I wrote a blog post entitled “Searching… it’s all shit!”

I was finally realizing that I needed to get help and healing for my past, my present, and my future, and to be the best version of myself for those I loved and loved me in return. It was around this time that I seriously began the collating and putting together my memoir. Two years later in August of 2019, I signed a publishing contract with Christian Faith Publishing and my book was published the following August of 2020.

It was during this time that I realized that to truly rebuild my life after the pain and sorrow, I would have to let go of death, but would always carry the experience.

The joys and sorrows would forever occupy the same space in my heart.

I must reconcile my past, embrace my present, and redeem my future. To move forward, not on, to discover where it is that I came from, knowing that death will always follow me. We unwillingly say a courageous faithful amen to the way it was, it is, and can be; which is what acknowledging death asks of us.

Get your copy of Cowboys Are Not Supposed to Cry here >

And a review on Amazon or Goodreads would be very much appreciated.  Thanks again! 

> If you are struggling with moving forward following a loss and searching for your best โ€œlife afterโ€, reach out. Leave a comment or email me at info@markschutter.com,

Iโ€™ll follow up with some additional information and how to book a free call to chat and see if I can help. Thanks!

I am Mark W. Schutter, Grief Coach for Men and Author of the memoir ๐‚๐จ๐ฐ๐›๐จ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐€๐ซ๐ž ๐๐จ๐ญ ๐’๐ฎ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ž๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐‚๐ซ๐ฒ, and we all need a little support sometimes.

Read my thoughts on previous chapters of my memoir, links below.

Part 1 โ€“ Reconciling the Past

Part 2 โ€“ Embracing the Present

Grief, Life, memoir

The Dark Side of Grief

๐Ÿ‘Š ๐—ฃ๐—ข๐—ฉ: ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฑ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ธ ๐˜€๐—ถ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐—ด๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐—ณ

IG Reel – The Dark Side of Grief

Watch my entire IG reel here > https://www.instagram.com/reel/CgM9CwSpxSd/?igshid=MDJmNzVkMjY=

Opening up the conversation to talk about the dark and uncomfortable things surrounding grief, loss, pain, death, life after and healing.

Why?

  • ๐Ÿค” Because a man’s grief is different.

Pull up a chair to the fire, I offer:

  • ๐Ÿ‘Š Grief coaching for men.
  • ๐Ÿ˜’Helping men find their best ๐™‡๐™ž๐™›๐™š ๐˜ผ๐™›๐™ฉ๐™š๐™ง ๐™๐™ง๐™–๐™ช๐™ข๐™–

Who am I and why?

  • ๐Ÿ“” Author of the memoir – ๐˜พ๐™ค๐™ฌ๐™—๐™ค๐™ฎ๐™จ ๐˜ผ๐™ง๐™š ๐™‰๐™ค๐™ฉ ๐™Ž๐™ช๐™ฅ๐™ฅ๐™ค๐™จ๐™š๐™™ ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐˜พ๐™ง๐™ฎ

๐˜พ๐™ค๐™ฌ๐™—๐™ค๐™ฎ๐™จ ๐˜ผ๐™ง๐™š ๐™‰๐™ค๐™ฉ ๐™Ž๐™ช๐™ฅ๐™ฅ๐™ค๐™จ๐™š๐™™ ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐˜พ๐™ง๐™ฎ

๐—”๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฏ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ฑ๐—ผ ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ต ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ณ๐—ณ ๐—ณ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—บ ๐—ถ๐˜?

First step: โžก๏ธ DM to book a call to chat

Shoot me a DM if you are struggling with overcoming grief and pain, have questions or just need someone to come alongside you and sit with you in silence (Job 2:13).

We’ll schedule a free call to see if we are a good fit and I can help.

God bless and saddle up the adventure of your life after trauma awaits. ๐Ÿ‘Š

Life, memoir, Writing

Revisiting Chapter 13 – We Chose the Scars We Will Carry

We are all broken but sometimes, oh yes sometimes, the broken pieces of you and me come together beautifully. ~Mark Wayne

This chapter seems innocuous at first as I mention wandering through my thirties and into my forties after Luka died.

Moving on, as life continued, but not really moving forward.

There is a vast difference in my opinion, as time moves on regardless of what actions we take or don’t take.

So much changed, in my mind, in my heart and in my daily life after Luka died.

I lived in fear for so long and it still rears it’s ugly head even now almost thirty years later. The unknown and that we really have no control. Couple that with the feelings of grief that are so much like fear, as C.S. Lewis says in the book A Grief Observed.

The feelings of grief, loss, and pain often force us to reevaluate everything, or at least most things, for us to move forward. To start again, I don’t think of it as starting over, just another book if you will. You don’t throw everything away that you had, you carry it into the next story and each succeeding chapter.

I walk through a world remembering a young girl from over thirty years ago. Does anyone else remember? And I hear a voice in my head that asks,

“Will you remember me when forever comes and goes?”

Death of a loved one takes all we had, each promise and hope of a future together. It shakes the foundations of your belief and so often we simply, walk away burying the pain, the grief, the regret and even the love. Why?

Sometimes the scars are angry.
Sometimes they scream.
Sometimes the scars will bleed.
Sometimes they whisper.
Sometimes the scarsโ€ฆ
are just what we need.

For it is in those moments that undoubtedly will continue to come, unceasingly as time moves forward, this is when we are free to choose the scars we will carry.

———————————————

Get your copy ofย Cowboys Are Not Supposed to Cryย here >

And a review on Amazon or Goodreads would be very much appreciated.  Thanks again! 

 

 Read my thoughts on previous chapters of my memoir, links below.

Part 1 โ€“ Reconciling the Past

Part 2 โ€“ Embracing the Present

> If you are struggling with moving forward following a loss and searching for your bestย โ€œlife afterโ€, reach out. Leave a comment or email me atย info@markschutter.com,

Iโ€™ll follow up with some additional information and how to book a free call to chat and see if I can help. Thanks!

I am Mark W. Schutter, Grief Coach for Men and Author of the memoir ๐‚๐จ๐ฐ๐›๐จ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐€๐ซ๐ž ๐๐จ๐ญ ๐’๐ฎ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ž๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐‚๐ซ๐ฒ, and we all need a little support sometimes.

Life, memoir

RASPBERRIES!!!

I like fruit, how about you? ๐Ÿค”

For me ripening raspberries means summer and life. I have a lot of memories tied to raspberries and promises of better days ahead.

I talk a lot about death and grief in many of my posts across social media but also healing and finding your best life after the pain.

โฉ Although we will always carry some of the pain with us…

There is death and it matters but there is also rebirth and life.

Ask me how I know. ๐Ÿ˜‰

โฉ I am the author of – ๐˜พ๐™ค๐™ฌ๐™—๐™ค๐™ฎ๐™จ ๐˜ผ๐™ง๐™š ๐™‰๐™ค๐™ฉ ๐™Ž๐™ช๐™ฅ๐™ฅ๐™ค๐™จ๐™š๐™™ ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐˜พ๐™ง๐™ฎ. I have walked through my own valley of the shadow of death.

If you need more and are struggling with overcoming grief and pain from a loss let me know. It takes courage to reach out and I offer the following those who are hurting.

๐Ÿ‘Š Grief coaching for men.
๐Ÿ™ Helping men find their best ๐™‡๐™ž๐™›๐™š ๐˜ผ๐™›๐™ฉ๐™š๐™ง

Shoot me a message via my contact page and we can schedule a call to see if we are a good fit and I can help.

God bless! And saddle up, the adventure of your life after pain and grief awaits. ๐Ÿ‘Š

Available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and iTunes.
Grief, Life, memoir

A Man’s Grief is Different

Agree or disagree? ๐Ÿค”

“A man’s grief is different.”

> Not right or wrong just different.
> Not good or bad just different.
> IT JUST IS.

Do what it is that works for you and reach out for support if needed.

If you are struggling with overcoming grief and pain from a loss it takes courage to reach out for support.

Men often, myself included, like to go it alone. We pride ourselves on our individualism and resilience.

Yet, sometimes we need, and want, someone to come alongside of us.

If you are struggling with overcoming grief and pain from a loss let me know.

I am the author of the memoir ๐˜พ๐™ค๐™ฌ๐™—๐™ค๐™ฎ๐™จ ๐˜ผ๐™ง๐™š ๐™‰๐™ค๐™ฉ ๐™Ž๐™ช๐™ฅ๐™ฅ๐™ค๐™จ๐™š๐™™ ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐˜พ๐™ง๐™ฎ and a grief coach for men. ๐Ÿ‘Š

Shoot me a message via my contact page and we can schedule a free discovery call to chat and see if we are a good fit and I can help.

God bless and saddle up, the adventure of your life after trauma awaits. ๐Ÿ‘Š #LifeAfter #Trauma #Healing

I have walked through my own valley of the shadow of death and would be honored to do so with you. You don’t have to do it alone. (Job 2:13)

Grief, Life, memoir

A True Story of Love, Loss, Pain, and Healing

๐˜พ๐™ค๐™ฌ๐™—๐™ค๐™ฎ๐™จ ๐˜ผ๐™ง๐™š ๐™‰๐™ค๐™ฉ ๐™Ž๐™ช๐™ฅ๐™ฅ๐™ค๐™จ๐™š๐™™ ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐˜พ๐™ง๐™ฎ

Need a good read for the summer, how about this? ๐Ÿค”

โžก๏ธ ๐˜พ๐™ค๐™ฌ๐™—๐™ค๐™ฎ๐™จ ๐˜ผ๐™ง๐™š ๐™‰๐™ค๐™ฉ ๐™Ž๐™ช๐™ฅ๐™ฅ๐™ค๐™จ๐™š๐™™ ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐˜พ๐™ง๐™ฎ

A true story of love and loss, life and death, faith and healing. There is life after pain and trauma.

Review excerpt: “This book goes where few are willing. It is a must read for all who have loved and lost as well as a beautiful reminder that there is always hope.”

Available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and iTunes in print and e-book.

And a review on Amazon or Goodreads would be very much appreciated.  Thanks again!