Grief, Life

Are You Struggling?

People with broken ๐Ÿ’” hearts often don’t know who they are anymore. #Quote #Grief

You’ve most likely heard it said to be kind as everyone is fighting a battle nobody else knows about. Thus, many feel alone and lost.

โžก๏ธ This truth has come up many times in my conversations with others.

If you are struggling I will come alongside you. ~Job 2:13

I have stood by the bedside holding the hand of my late wife as she died. I had to turn and leave her. Leaving everything I had ever known and thus began my own walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I have been there and now I want to help others.

Reaching out takes strength and courage. Send me a message via my contact page to schedule a free 15 minute intro call to see if we are a good fit and if I can help.

๐Ÿ‘Š God bless! Joshua 1:9

God, Grief, memoir

Grief Reclaimed / Grief and the Paranormal – 2 Live Interviews

I was honored to be the guest last week on two shows and the interview replays are available on Rumble and YouTube.

Watch the replay of the live unscripted conversation about grief, death, and faith with host Collene James of ๐“๐ก๐ž ๐‘๐ž๐œ๐ฅ๐š๐ฆ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐๐ซ๐จ๐ฃ๐ž๐œ๐ญ on the Through the Black channel on Rumble. ๐Ÿ‘Š

โžก๏ธ https://rumble.com/v1718pn-grief-reclaimed.html

Collene and I touched on the following topics :

  • My book and story of grief
  • How grief touches on grief
  • Grief in scripture
  • The spirit of grief vs Godly grief
  • The directive as believers to grieve
  • And so much more!

Watch the replay of the live unscripted conversation about how the paranormal uses grief to decieve people with Shawn Carter on ๐”๐ง๐ฏ๐ž๐ข๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐๐š๐ซ๐š๐ง๐จ๐ซ๐ฆ๐š๐ฅ on YouTube. ๐Ÿ‘Š

โžก๏ธ https://youtu.be/vlZ2zRK3g_4

Shawn and I talked about the following:

  • Wanting to hear their voice just one more time.
  • Biblical directive to not consult nor talk with the dead.
  • Does that imply that we could but are instructed not to?
  • How mediums prey on the vulnerability of those grieving.
  • Who is talking to/throught the medium?
  • Is it really a loved one who appears to us?
  • Appearance of animals that some believe are signs.
  • How faith sustains us and supports us.
  • God’s salvation for believers.

Two great conversations last week, listen to the replays now!

๐†๐ซ๐ข๐ž๐Ÿ ๐‘๐ž๐œ๐ฅ๐š๐ข๐ฆ๐ž๐-https://rumble.com/v1718pn-grief-reclaimed.html
๐”๐ง๐ฏ๐ž๐ข๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐๐š๐ซ๐š๐ง๐จ๐ซ๐ฆ๐š๐ฅ – https://youtu.be/vlZ2zRK3g_4

#Grief #Loss #Occult #Faith #Paranormal

Take a listen and let me know what you think! God bless!

God, Grief, memoir, Writing

Revisiting Chapter 11 – Not Wanting to Be Alive

Things happen… and thank God some don’t.

This chapter was easy for me write because I remember each detail from almost 30 years ago vividly, even now, months after my memoir has been published.

Yet, this was the hardest chapter for me to include in the book. Because I tell the story of the closest I came to committing suicide after Luka’s death.

The gun was in my hand, my finger on the trigger, the end of the round barrel pressing a circle into the skin of my right temple.

Not wanting to be alive is not the same as thing as wanting to be dead. ~Megan Devine, ๐ผ๐‘ก’๐‘  ๐‘‚๐‘˜๐‘Ž๐‘ฆ ๐‘‡โ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘ก ๐‘Œ๐‘œ๐‘ข’๐‘Ÿ๐‘’ ๐‘๐‘œ๐‘ก ๐‘‚๐‘˜๐‘Ž๐‘ฆ

I had survived the crash that totaled our Ford Bronco and killed our dog, only spending one night in the hospital. But the unrelenting heartache I felt far exceeded the physical pain from the 37 stitches in my head and the skin grafts on the back of my left hand. I didn’t want to go on.

There seemed no way out, nor through for me at that time. I only wanted it all to end. I hadn’t thought seriously about committing suicide until the moment I found myself with the pistol in my hand.

Sure the thought had crossed my mind but only in fleeting moments and I prayed most nights before falling asleep that God would take me before I awoke.

Some force beyond me stayed my hand and my mind in the moments as my finger tightened on the trigger. I call it God. My life and his purpose for me was not complete yet.

I knew the loss would never go away, and no matter what I did to fill the empty spaces, her absence would always be permanent.

CHAPTER 11, NOT WANTING TO BE ALIVE โ€“ PAGE 104, MARK W. SCHUTTER

Now, so many years later I think about how that one act would have changed everything that was and nothing would be as it is. I carry the burden… and so we move forward with hope, with strength, and belief.

Get your copy of Cowboys Are Not Supposed to Cry  >

And a review on Amazon or Goodreads would be very much appreciated.  Thanks again! ๐Ÿ‘Š

Read my thoughts on previous chapters of my memoir, links below.

Part 1 โ€“ Reconciling the Past

Part 2 โ€“ Embracing the Present

> If you are struggling with moving forward following a loss and searching for your best โ€œlife afterโ€, let me know. Leave a comment or email me at info@markschutter.com,

Iโ€™ll follow up with some additional information and how to book a free 15 minute call to see if I can help. Thanks!

I am Mark W. Schutter, Grief Coach and Author of the memoir ๐‚๐จ๐ฐ๐›๐จ๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐€๐ซ๐ž ๐๐จ๐ญ ๐’๐ฎ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ž๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐‚๐ซ๐ฒ, and we all need a little support sometimes.

God, Grief, Life, memoir

Are You Holding a Grudge Against God?

POV: Grief is hard and can often incline us to hold a grudge against God when someone dies regardless of the circumstances.

The image is from the movie Open Range with Kevin Costner and Robert Duvall. You can see the entire clip on my Instagram page – @mwschutter.

I know because for many years I held a grudge against God after my late wife died of cancer at 27 years old. ๐Ÿ’”

No reason other than a disease that wrecked her before taking her life and God did nothing to stop it.

I struggled with anger and bitterness for many years, stuffing it down. You don’t have to and unhealed pain and trauma will always come back.

โžก๏ธ There is a better way and now I help those who are struggling with grief through coaching and support. Helping you find your best life after trauma. Yes, you.

I am the author of the memoir ๐˜พ๐™ค๐™ฌ๐™—๐™ค๐™ฎ๐™จ ๐˜ผ๐™ง๐™š ๐™‰๐™ค๐™ฉ ๐™Ž๐™ช๐™ฅ๐™ฅ๐™ค๐™จ๐™š๐™™ ๐™ฉ๐™ค ๐˜พ๐™ง๐™ฎ. The story of my own journey through the valley of the shadow of death.

Are tired of trying to ride off from death, loss, and grief? If so send me a message – via my contact page and I will send you information on how to schedule a free 15 minute intro call to see if we are a good fit and I can help.

There are many burdens you were not meant to carry. I am happy to come alongside you. ๐Ÿ‘Š See ~Job 2:13 ๐Ÿ“œ

God, Grief, memoir

Upcoming Live Events This Week!

I have the distinct pleasure and honor to be the guest on two different live video chats this week, Wednesday and Thursday evening talking about grief, my book, Cowboys Are Not Supposed to Cry, faith, the occult, and other things. ๐Ÿ˜‰

The Reclamation Project with Collene James on Through the Black (TtB)

Unveiling the Paranormal with Shawn Carter on YouTube

If you can’t join live, be sure to catch the replay’s and let me know what you think.

PS โ€“ You can read more of my story of grief, loss, healing and life after in my memoirย Cowboys Are Not Supposed to Cry, available on many online platforms. I use my experience to coach others struggling with grief and moving forward from loss, let me know and weโ€™ll schedule a 15 minute intro call to see if I can help. God bless, ~M

Grief, memoir

If You Know…

If you know,

then you know,

that you know.

It was the 29th time that the day of her birth had come around following her death. Nothing much seems to have changed over the past few years. At least on the inside.

I kept busy that day, working moving dirt and readying the planter boxes in the greenhouse for planting. It was a beautiful sunny spring day.

And then out of the blue it hit me.

The memories I hold so dear were of a young girl in her mid-twenties. In the fullness of life, with dreams of the future, until the last few months when the sickness began to overtake her. But this day it is the year 2022.

She would have turned 57 years old.

Just typing the words seems surreal. I will turn 58 later this year so it tracks mathematically. But the heart knows nothing of numbers, only images stored in the mind and carried forever.

And I have no idea what she would look like were she alive today.

I have aged, gray hairs shining through my blonde curls. My whiskers when I let them grow are tinged with silver and the lines at the corners of my eyes and on my forehead are tell tale signs of the years that have passed.

But in my mind she is still that young girl.

In the prime of her young life, long brown hair, and sparkling blue eyes. The ravages of time had not yet made their mark as they do to us all that are blessed to live for many years. My mind is swirling.

I cannot picture her as 57 year old woman.

So, I wonder at this. Another wave of grief and loss assaults’ me. I feel as I if I have lost her again. For a second time, no a third time… hell I have lost count of how many times over the ensuing years.

I live on with memories from long ago.

I am happy. I have moved forward with a wonderful wife and daughter. And yet, I have watched my daughter grow into a teenager, and my wife has aged as have I. And my memories of her are frozen in time.

She has never aged.

Is that a good thing or a bad thing? She never got the pleasure of enjoying more of life. Of family and friends. Even the aches and pains of a body that is worn and tired from a life lived fully.

But maybe, just maybe she did.

I smile, my heart is happy because in her almost 28 years of life, she lived every moment fully. She was alive, even at the end when the cancer racked her body, when everything hurt and I stood holding her hand to the end of our journey together.

I carry the grief and loss, right alongside my joy and happiness.

PS – You can read more of my story of grief, loss, healing and life after in my memoir Cowboys Are Not Supposed to Cry, available on many online platforms. I use my experience to coach others struggling with grief and moving forward from loss, let me know and we’ll schedule a 15 minute intro call to see if I can help. God bless, ~M