There are stories we tell ourselves & others about the scars inflicted by this world, both physical and emotional.  I believe we must consciously create a positive message from these experiences so as not to allow the suffering to overwhelm the possibilities.

My scars are invisible to most as they reside within my heart and mind.  Here are two stories I have told and continue to tell myself about the death of a loved one and my pain, loss and grief.  Both stories are equally true.

  • My loss and pain means that I am different from others.
  • Others have and suffer pain also, even if our circumstances and stories are different.
  • I feel alone as no one feels the way that I do nor understands.
  • Understanding and connection comes from sharing our different experiences and helping  others that is where relationships are built and fellowship exists.
  • I should keep my story to myself as others may pity me.
  • Others may find strength in my story of hope and perseverance in spite of the loss.
  • I have nothing to offer as I am broken and hurt.
  • My brokenness can be a source of power to help me heal and become whole again and to offer help to comfort others who suffer.
  • This is my pain to bear and carry alone.
  • I can choose not be alone to reach out and serve others to shine a light, this is my choice.
  • Nobody wants to hear about death!
  • Death is part of life and that’s the reality we all face and can share!
 Same scars.  Same person.   Very different stories.

What is the story you tell?


The idea for this blog post comes from Micheal Bungay Stanier at Box of Crayons. Thanks Michael!

Michael Bungay Stanier is the founder and Senior Partner of Box of Crayons, a company that helps organizations do less Good Work and more Great Work. He is the author of Do More Great Work and Get Unstuck & Get Going, and the creator of The Alchemy of Great Work, The Great Work Movie, The 5.75 Questions You’ve Been Avoiding and The Eight Irresistible Principles of Fun. Michael was a Rhodes Scholar and the 2006 Canadian Coach of the Year. He is Australian and now lives in Canada.

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