Lost in illusion, inside my head.
Faking a smile, while feeling dead.
Voices that scream, make not a sound.
Feeling alone, with everyone around.
Cloaked in blackness, a hidden heart.
Do I trust God? Willing to do my part?
Memories may fade, but sadness remains.
Hope for tomorrow, choked by the pain.
Lost in illusion, that the enemy creates.
What good is a life, so goes the debate.
Others encourage, words go unheard.
The journey continues, however absurd.
The light is there, but makes not a sound.
I believe and trust God, as I fall face down.
The memories remain, as the heart cries.
Hope for tomorrow and love, is not a lie.
~Mark Schutter ©2014
(I stumbled across the first stanza above, written in my journal in November of 2003, 10 years after the death of a loved one. At that time I was struggling and trying to ignore the pain. It struck me how the grief had and continues to color and impact everything I was and did, everything I am and do. Over the past 11 years I have made strides to deal with my loss and to right the ship on this journey called life. Thus, I have written a second stanza, remembering that our experiences make us who we are. I continue to #JustBelieve ~M)