“The last thing I heard was you whispering goodbye.
And then I heard you flatline.”
~Skillet, Not Gonna Die

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dark letters handwritten
DNR
stark contrast on the white paper
do not … I can’t say it
What?
Really?
What now? I must wait?
 
my mind is fractured
imaginings of a helpless man
the world has stopped time is no more
DNR
staring defiantly
all who dare to look
Why?
Really?
It’s done? The end?
 
shallowed labored breathing
a hand-held in silence
she knocks on heaven’s door
while dancing to the rhythm
of the kingdom to come
 
i slowly walk away
the mocking silence is deafening
into a sun covered by the dark
Memories sustain?
Beauty remains?
Can truth be believed?
 
years roll past in spite of me
caught in an endless maze
A smile?
A light?
Warmth invades as pain fades?
 
under the moon and stars
questions still lie unanswered
What?
Still?
 
but life rolls forward
unceasing tides swept away life
my life is not dead i am not dead
Heat beats?
Blood flows?
she holds my hand
she calms my fears
she loves me despite me
DNR
Is fading?
Into the distance?
a hole remains that can’t be filled
 
carrying an empty yet heavy burden
that she somehow shares the load
surrounded by hopes
immersed in dreams
Light!
Laughter!
Love!
soothing and covering the hurt
strength resides within and around me
Standing firm!
Looking forward!
DNR?
DELIGHT NOW REBORN!

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 “This is how it feels when you fight back!
This is how it feels when you take your life back!”
~Skillet, Not Gonna Die

This was written from the prompt - What I would like to know, your prompt for the day, is what was that pivotal moment for you, and most importantly, how did it change you? from Kelley Rose. Read more about my defining moment on my about page A Cowboy’s Heart.

Free writing is a stream of consciousness, no editing, no proofing just writing!  Please check out Kellie Elmore’s official site or click on the Free Write Friday Image for more information. Post your submission with a comment and link to your blog on Kellie’s blog, post on twitter with the hashtag #FWF, Facebook and join the fun!

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10 Comments

  1. Wow! I really feel this. That loss that sends us spiraling into pain and grief. To climb back out of that darkness and learn to live, love and laugh. Not an easy journey and some of us never climb out. I am happy you found your smile again.

  2. Caught every branch of the poem on the way down, Mark, and then the immersion, inversion to find strength in the roots/experiences we are still growing from, to continue to climb our tree, experiencing what it’s like for more/new branches, and leaves to grow out before us, and along by our side. A well connect poem between past, and future…

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