Merry Christmas! May your stocking be filled with chocolate, if that is your heart’s desire!
Tag: Humor
Who is your presidential candidate?
“Snoopy for President”
Based on what I have seen, heard and read so far we might be better off with man’s best friend in the White House. I say let the campaign begin now!
- The world would be a nicer place if everyone had the ability to love as unconditionally as a dog. ~M.K. Clinton
- The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants. ~Johnny Depp
- Dogs are better than human beings because they know but do not tell. ~Emily Dickinson
- What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight; it’s the size of the fight in the dog. ~Dwight D. Eisenhower
- The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. ~Andy Rooney
Share your favorite quote or memory of dogs in the comments, I would love to hear it! (I created the above collage picture using PicMonkey, a free on-line photo editing site.)
“Some Days” – A short story free-write
A quick free-write story using the following words – buckskin, sweaty, lilac, learn and disjointed. This was written at the lunch time gathering of the writing group I participate in at work. I think we had 5 – 7 minutes to contemplate and write. Lots of fun and encouragement as we write and share. Not bad way to spend a lunch hour.
This very short story shows my off-beat sense of humor. Hey, it made the group laugh and left them with a lot of unanswered questions. Now, get your write on my friends!
Mister Snow Melter
My own unique poetry take on the song Heat Miser from the classic show ‘The Year Without a Santa Claus‘. Heavily influenced by the wet rain and normally green Christmas’s in the Pacific Northwest. We may not have snow most years but we still have a lot of fun.
Merry Christmas!
I’m Mister Snow Melter
I’m Mister Warm
I’m Mister Winter Swelter
I’m Mister Fifty-one
They call me Snow Melter,
The snow I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch
I’m too much!
I never want to see a day
That’s less than 40 degrees
I’d rather have it fifty,
sixty, a comfy seventy degrees!
Oh, some like it cold or hot, but I like it
in between! Hee hee!
He’s Mister Green Christmas
He’s Mister Rain
Sing it!
He’s Mister Snow Melter
He’s Mister Fifty-one
They call me Snow Melter,
What ever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch
I’m too much!
Too Much!
A Thanksgiving Eve Poem
Twas the day before Thanksgiving, and all through the field.
Every turkey was scurrying, unwilling to stop and yield.
The moon shone bright, as visions of stuffing danced in their heads.
They gobbled as they ran, for this was the night they came to dread.
For tomorrow would soon come, and their fates would be sealed.
With mashed potatoes and trimmings, their glory’s revealed.
Happy Thanksgiving!!!
What are you thankful for?
OctPoWriMo to NaNoWriMo 2014
It was a dark and stormy night.
A time when writer’s will write deep into the fading light.
Fumbling over the words on paper that somehow dance and sing.
A Masterpiece or not may be created out of seemingly nothing.
The winds may howl and blowing rain splatters the window pane.
As the dark night begins to wane.
~Mark Schutter ©2014
As we approach Halloween and the end of October Poetry Writing Month and head first into National Novel Writing Month, I was hoping to leave a little poetry and inspiration for writing your own novel!
As Halloween approaches how would you finish the sentence
– It was a dark and stormy night…?
- Scary/Suspenseful? – It was a dark and stormy night and the shallow light of the moon cast haunting shadows across the floor. He knew this was the moment as he stood before the door his hand on the doorknob. Holding his breath he slowly began to turn the knob and as he did he heard the screams …
- Humorous/Funny? – It was a dark and stormy night and the chocolate stains at the corner of his lips was the only evidence left behind from the chocolate pie and whipped cream midnight refrigerator raid.
- Peaceful/Contented?– It was a dark and stormy night, the warmth of the crackling fire cast a peaceful glow across the room. She silently stared at the pictures in the photo album, remembering the past with a smile on her lips.
Please share your thoughts, how would you finish the sentence? It just might be the next great novel!
A Cow’s Nightmare
Quietly standing along the fence at twilight
The setting sun casts yellow flames silently down
They silently watch as the cars disappear out of sight
Days are spent grazing in fields of green clover
Content in hopes of more lazy days ahead
Clumsily they lay down and sometimes roll over
No worries, no cares, living completely unaware
As something wicked and evil this way comes
They think not even a thought of what to wear
But some know that cows are haunted by a dream
Visions of demons hysterically waving gleaming steel
The cows search idly for what it all might mean
Warnings are unheeded as All Hallow’s Eve approaches
A feeling of dread covers the land in wicked whispers
Upon the heavy mists malevolence slowly encroaches
Bipeds in startling white coats walk out of the dark
Staring evilly into the cows eyes revealing a glimmer
A crashing boom rings into the night sending sparks
They feel a thud and everything goes suddenly black
Falling to the ground in the final throes of death
Warm blood flows from the humans’ frenzied hacks
Revelations in dreams for cows come early and then too late
A grisly fate is upon them and their end has come
And they are now only steaks and cheeseburgers upon a plate
~Mark Schutter ©2014
A little bit horrific and humorous in honor of Halloween being only a week away, as even cows can have nightmares of evil things! 🙂 This is also a link up to Hastywords for her 31 Days of Horror! And my 24th poem for the month of October, #OctPoWriMo!
The Human Zoo
What’cha gonna do? What’cha gonna do? What’cha gonna do?
When they come for you!
To lock you up in the human zoo!
Who dat? Who dat? Who dat?
We are locked in cages!
Stifled, chained and inside a box for ages!
What now? What now? What now?
Chickens hold tightly our chains!
We moan and cry, as we shower in the rain!
How’s this? How’s this? How’s this?
Slopping through the dark days!
Left alone and betrayed, what ever is left to say!
What the …? What the …? what the …?
Our lives incomplete and hopeless too!
We wake to find ourselves forever locked in a human zoo!
~Mark Schutter ©2014
(Poem #6 of 31, for #OctPoWriMo, just having some fun cause poetry doesn’t always have to be serious. Don’t let them catch you!)
Addictions…
Addictions may come.
Addictions may go.
Beyond the wanting,
Mornings when it’s hard to rise,
Wild horses drag me from the bed.
Beyond the waiting.
I thank God for the sun.
And a blessed cup of joe.
~Mark Schutter ©2014
Happy Thursday Everybody!!!
A Duck on a Hot Asphalt Lake
I see a duck on a hot asphalt lake
His story moves in the shimmering heat
As summertime visions dance in my head
Songlines hum up from the pavement at my feet
The poor little duck lifts his scorched webbed toes
He’s lost in a world he never thought he’d meet
Looking for a way out he sees only endless horizon
So tired he wishes to rest but dares not take a seat
The searing glow from the cement burns to the skin
Wondering why he ventured feeling the defeat
Something remembered comes and moves upon his back
Outstretched his wings extend and against the air begin to beat
Oh my, oh my, there is escape and into the sky he climbs
Thankful for wings in blessed flight he finds relief
~Mark Schutter ©2014
(I took the above picture a while back while walking during my lunch hour. I came across this duck alone walking across a vacant parking lot. Seemed strange and he seemed lost, so I quickly snapped a picture with my phone. With the temperatures here in the Pacific Northwest being unseasonably hot for only mid July, everyone is thinking and talking about the heat. The phrase ‘A Duck on a Hot Asphalt Lake’ came to me, a play on ‘A Cat on a Hot Tin Roof‘. I found the picture on my phone edited using PicMonkey and then quickly wrote this little poem. Tongue in cheek and whimsical, but we are all looking for some relief from the heat. Hope you enjoy! Have a good one! Thanks, ~M)
Mark Wayne - Author and Warrior 