Tag: Questions

Grief, Life, Poetry, Writing

Unasked Questions

Mark Wayne

We all have questions that reside in our hearts and minds. They reside hidden inside. Sometimes they rest quietly and sometimes they are awakened.

I have many of my own questions of which I will never speak. I live with the not having the answers believing that someday in the undiscovered both the questions and the answers will no longer matter.

What say you?

and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will be no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying,or pain; the first things have passed away. ~Revelation 21:4

Adventure, Life, Writing

A Wicked Question…

Mark Wayne
Yes or No?

Are you proud of yourself? #JustAsking

A simple, fascinating, and thought-provoking question I was recently asked during my conversation with Ronit @RonitPlank while recording an episode for her podcast And Then Everything Changed.

It really got me to thinking. An interesting question that is so easy to quickly fire off a yes or a no with little thought to why. It is so easy to respond with just a gut reaction to the question.

  • If we say YES, what are we proud of? Is it those moments, those events, those things we did or did not do? Who we have become or not become despite our circumstances?
  • And if we say NO, why are we not proud of ourselves? Did we fail when we expected to succeed, did we cause harm intentionally or not? Did we fail someone else or go back on a promise?

All deep questions that require some soul-searching. When asked I answered in the affirmative. I am proud of myself for persevering and overcoming so much in my journey through life. I have done the best I could with what I had and who I was at the time. And I will continue to do just that.

What about you? Give yourself some grace, life is hard. The choices are hard and we are all doing the best we can.

#GraceChangesPeople

God, Life, Poetry

A Crisis of Faith?

Mark Wayne 
I have lost my faith, 
not my belief
my faith. 

I have misplaced it,
and it cannot
be found. 

I will still search,
searching no
matter.

I will hold my faith,
with tenacity
at best.

I still will believe,
crying out
to you.

I  still will trust,
your truth in
my unbelief.

“I do believe; help my unbelief.” ~Mark 9:24

Do you struggle in the area of faith and belief?

This past week we lost our beloved dog, Sadee Jayne ❤ (See this week’s Wordless Wednesday photo of her.) She was the fourth member or our pack and we had twelve wonderful years together. Her death has rekindled many memories of grief for me. Thus leading me to lots of questions, similar questions to those I have written about in my upcoming memoir ‘Cowboys Are Not Supposed To Cry.’

I know I struggle not in losing my faith but in misplacing it if you will. It tends to ebb and flow when I allow my belief to be based on my emotions and what is happening to me and around me. Often building my faith on a precarious stack of rocks instead of on the rock. I believe we need to focus more on the truth that does not change.

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” ~Hebrews 13:8

What do you think?

Life is often a balancing act!

Adventure, Life, Photograph, Writing

Pondering Distractions

Mark Wayne
“Brutus”

Pondering distractions, as the urgency grows!

Pondering distractions, as the urgency grows! #BusyDoingNothing

Are the things we are pondering sometimes meaningless distractions in the grand scheme of things? We focus our attention on what this hand is doing and the other quietly goes about implementing a different plan. While silently a inside we feel a growing urgency that is creeping forward with an agenda that we cannot name for it is hidden from our view.

We are so focused on what is right in front of us that we fail to see the danger that stalks us. There is so much going on in our lives at this time. I wonder if those things in our cities, our nation and around the world are simply distracting us from an even bigger story?

Those without a plan are at the mercy of those with a plan, but sometimes you can over plan these things, so be careful while planning your plan. #LOL #Humor #Word

Now what are you going to do? #Question #LiveYourDreams

Life, Writing

Going a Walkabout – Drifting Away and Coming Back

Mark Wayne
It is easier…

It is easier to walk away than to pretend everything is okay. #Quote #LoveChangesPeople

It’s day five of 2020 and to me it already it feels like … well take your pick.

  • After a night of little sleep, it’s still dark outside and the fog is so thick.
  • Stuck in the middle of a long dark tunnel unsure towards which dim light to turn.
  • A moonless night where the dark surrounds you and the trees sway in the breeze like ghosts.

As I reread the bullet points above the theme is the dark.

Hello, darkness my old friend.

So as I (we) stare into the darkness of the world, others and our own hearts what can we do?

  • Get up off your ass, figuratively or literally if you are just laying on the couch.
  • Create gratitude, look around and acknowledge things you are grateful for.
  • Accept the dark moments as only temporary and endeavor to persevere.
  • Cast aside your fears and doubts, even if just for the next moment.
  • Remember and believe that there are better things ahead.

There are better things ahead than any we leave behind. ~C. S. Lewis #Quote #JustBelieve #HopeLives

And so I will forge ahead and I encourage you to do the same. Whether the new year has started out well for you with clarity and intention or like me you are somewhat in a fog. I will continue to pursue my dreams, love my family and friends, believing that hope lives.

Watch for my memoir tentatively titled ‘There is Always Hope‘ which I hope to self-publish later this year. I will continue to edit my trilogy novel series ‘The Chronicles of Faith‘ as well as write poetry for my own anthology collection. I also plan to enjoy the moments, each and every one!

And never, ever forget…

Life, Writing

Grief, Loss, Triggers and Other Stuff

Mark Wayne

I wrote this post with tears behind my eyes. Although they were wide open I squeezed them tight so that no one can see and nothing leaks out that would give away my feelings. Yes, I am hiding, but also writing. A frenzy of emotional free writing.

I am angry! I am sad! I am frustrated and …

My stomach is in knots, my muscles are tense. I feel the passion surging inside of me and I am afraid of it spilling out into a fit of rage. While my mind spins with questions that have no answers, for I long ago learned there are none. 

My Destiny

Triggers come in all sorts of ways. A voice, a song, a memory, a word. 

Maybe it’s just me as I read posts on social media encouraging others to ‘copy and paste’ in honor or remembrance of something or someone. Especially in honor of someone who is battling or has lost a battle with cancer with the hashtag #cancersucks or something.

This is my story, my reality and my life.

I lost someone to cancer many years ago and yes cancer sucks. Not a day goes by that something doesn’t remind me of her. When she died, she left a hole in my heart. I watched the traditional treatments wreck and devastate her body, mind and spirit. And in the end, it did nothing to prolong her life nor improve the quality of her life. 

So, yes, I am jaded.

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My experience may be vastly different from others. Yet, this is my story, not theirs and this is my voice that is screaming in the silence of unanswered questions. Nighttime skies as dark as death where stars twinkle on unconcerned and the cold vastness reveals no measure of comfort to assuage my pain and longing.

Posting in honor of someone, does nothing. Really, that’s the best you can do?

Be careful with your words, your images, your pictures and posts you share. Everyone experiences things differently. Triggers! No two people experience life in exactly the same way. There is no comfort in false words of hope and solace. We toss around platitudes like confetti in the wind, left to fall and be carried where they will. With no thought of those on the receiving end, intentional or not, will catch the true meaning of our hearts.

Yes, I am bitter. Yes, I am … hell I don’t know what I am.

I do know that I am strong and this will not defeat me. I will bang a drum for those we have lost and never assume to understand someone else’s experience and pain. For I never would expect the two to be the same. #JustBelieve #HopeLives

Bull$√!+