Good Enough is Good Enough

Good Enough

perfection
a lofty and high goal
striving
at the cost of your soul

when is…
good enough, good enough

accomplishment
just to do your best
satisfaction
in meeting the test

when is…
good enough, good enough

participating
it is not the thing
winning
is the only thing

when is…
good enough, good enough

awards
just for being you
losing
is minimized and we do

when is…
good enough, good enough

battling
against the perceptions
fighting
to be better than yesterday

then…
good enough is good enough

~Mark Schutter ©2015

We teach our kids to apply themselves and they can do whatever they want.  Just for showing up they are rewarded and sometimes with very little effort on their parts.  We coddle and push, telling them that winning is not everything it is the only thing.  Then when they lose or fail we tell them it is okay that participating is the main thing.  As parents, can we have it both ways?  Are our expectations our of whack?

My daughter is already becoming an accomplished horse rider, winning Reserve Grand Champion for High Points in her age group in her first year of competing.  She rides a full Spanish Arabian Summer Showhorse named TaajRico and thanks to the generosity of her trainer she is half owner of. He is called Rico for short, that is him in the picture above, and yes, that is me on the quarter-horse behind her. 🙂 She competes in Walk/Trot Hunter Seat and Saddle Seat Equitation and Pleasure classes. I am so proud of her, but I do not want her to lose her joy and love of horses because she has to always be aware of what she is doing. 

  • “Watch your diagonal.”
  • “Keep your foot flat.”
  • “Lower your hands.”
  • “Sit back, you are to far forward.”
  • “Keep his head down.” …and on and on.

She has voiced even now that sometimes she just wants to be around her horse and ride for fun and not worry about all these things that might make her a champion.  I want her to be happy and yet, I watch my daughter succeed at so many things and my heart swells with pride wanting to scream to everyone within earshot, “Look at her!”  Is this a veiled reflection of my own insecurities and finding some redemption vicariously through her accomplishments?  And she is only 10 years old, what does that say about me?

She is learning so much beyond just winning and losing.  She is responsibleRibbons 2014 to take care of this living breathing animal.  Yet, when she does fall short I will minimize the loss and make excuses, justifying that it was not her but something else that made her fail.  Does this give her a false sense of reality?  The idea that we should teach our kids to not be in competition with the kid down the street, on the field or in the classroom is almost ludicrous.  Our society pits us against each other in so may ways in the name of entertainment, in business, in just getting ahead of or at least keeping up with the family down on the corner and their 3500 square foot house.

Walking Rico 2014And yet… competition and competing is good.  To better oneself and to come out stronger and wiser regardless of the real outcome.  We should strive to be better than we were yesterday, even if it is only a little, that should be our goal.  To paraphrase Matthew McConaughey, we need to have someone to chase and that someone should be ourselves ten years from now.  We will never catch them but that is okay, it pushes us to be better and see a future that is both exciting and challenging.  Sometime good enough is good enough. You can watch the short video of his 2014 Oscar acceptance speech below.

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I Can Hear You!

Sharing Space – for the Poetic Diversity Project

Another poem in response to Shawn L. Bird’s Poetic Diversity Project prompt for her Masters class. For March 8th she has asked for us to please share poetry or observations about the challenges and/or joys of sharing a space with others and link it in the comments on Shawn’s blog.  Here is my contribution:

Here we sit,
in our little house.
I’m trying to think
as the ideas come and go.
The light glares from the screen and
I hope the story will unfold.
Then I hear the excited screams
of your laughter,
from the other room.

“I can hear you!”
My thoughts are derailed.
This novel will not write itself!

Then silence,
and it makes me think.
“What in the world is going on now?”

The words are fleeting,
the moments too few.
Our house is filled with joy.
And too soon you’ll be gone,
so laugh and scream
to your heart’s content.
I would not ever trade
being your daddy or
have it any other way.

~Mark Schutter ©2015

My Girls - March 2015

My Girls – March 2015

100 Years From Now

With the back to school season upon us, I was blessed to hear a great sermon by Pastor Tim Wimberly of Living Water last Saturday night about parenting titled “Living Life Together”.  It was about the impact we have on our kids.  He encouraged each parent (current and future) that it is never too late.  We all feel inadequate and unprepared for parenting, when in reality what our children need more than anything is simply us with all of our imperfections.  Our love and our time, not things.  If you would like to watch the sermon or listen to a podcast click here. And follow Pastor Tim on Twitter, you won’t be disappointed! During the sermon the idea for a simple blog post (poem and photo) came to me and I share it with you now.  Remember it is never to late, you will always be their mom or dad!

Fun around the campfire!

Fun around the campfire!

If you are still breathing
You are still in the game
There is still time
The future yet unwritten
Yesterday is gone
Tomorrow a blank slate

What really matters
100 years from now
Money, possessions, cars, toys
Things with no emotion
No connection
Time and moments lost

When they look into your eyes
What will they see?
Love, hope, acceptance
It matters
It makes a difference
It will change the world

It is never too late
The moment is now
Too shine a light
Because they will know and remember
The unconditional love and acceptance
100 years from now

~Mark W. Schutter ©2014

A Bubble Off Plumb

image

I reckon some will say,
I’m a bubble off plumb
That’s for sure and for certain.

The silliness and laughter,
Keep me from coming undone
Cause something has got to give.

The memories and moments,
For the regret is so tragic
If the love is not shown.

The joys and sorrows,
The mundane and magic
Life is found here and now.

~Mark Schutter ©2014