#JustBelieve #HopeLives #YouMatter
#JustBelieve #HopeLives #YouMatter
Warning: Honesty Post!
*All my posts are honest, but this one is a clearer look behind my curtain and who I am. If you are not ready, or willing to hear, my truth (and just possibly the truth others cannot voice, although I would never presume to speak for anyone else) please stop reading now. I do not wish to offend anyone in this time of overwhelming political correctness and safe places, well time to get over it.
I sit here on a quiet Sunday morning; only a week removed from our two week adventure to Yellowstone National Park and it all seems like shit! I told you honesty and that’s the word that fits – shit!
I am blessed, I know that.
A family that loves me, friends that care and so much more. I’ve been granted opportunities and worked my ass off at times sacrificing to accomplish what I have. Looking in one might say I have been and am pretty successful.
So why, as I sit here on the other side of my life’s mountain with less time before me than behind me do I feel this way, and not just this day but on most days?
Stuck! Marginalized! Lost! Uninspired! Disconnected! Lonely! Fatigued! Discontented! Overwhelmed! Anxious! Uncertain! Afraid!
I have dreams. We all do. They taunt me and haunt me. So, what good is a life that leaves nothing behind? To let go of the expectations of others. The responsibilities of who they think and want me to be.
It is all so exhausting.
I feel I have lost myself. Oh, there are moments, real and true, that speak of a greater reality, and they are just far too few. I often wonder who I am, or was meant to be but also there is a melody woven through my life that sings if only I would stop and acknowledge that truth.
My dreams of passion and purpose dance at the edges of my days before quickly fading into the duty and obligations that chain me. To make a difference in the lives of others. Yes, shining a light into the darkness.
My self-imposed obligations and responsibilities weigh me down. Drowning out that still small voice inside that would inspire and lead me higher. I am grounded with useless wings.
My search, for what I often am not sure, seems so fruitless and empty. I do not hear from God, a voice crying out in the wilderness. The silence of the unending heavens as I stare at the night sky.
I spent two weeks traveling and camping, visiting some of the most awe inspiring animals and natural wonders ever created and yet…
Is it the simple things?
Those fleeting moments that leave a lingering feeling as they are too quickly gone. And then we crash back to reality wondering, hoping to recapture those moments of magic.
That is where the bullshit often lies!
I stare into the darkness of my heart, knowing that I cannot change the world. But maybe, just maybe I can help one person who can then help another. Ripples you know?
Is that what life is about, each person uniquely created to fill a certain destiny that only they can fill. Why does it never seen to be enough? My doubts and fears, my insecurities of letting others down and not being good enough. Not being perfect.
Can good enough be good enough?
I feel my rambling coming to a close and I realize there are more questions here than answers. Oh well…. It is time to get my ass up, put on my jeans and dusty cowboy boots, carry a flame and bang that drum for myself and others. Cause God is not done with me and I will trust in my time of uncertainty and silence.
One small, seemingly insignificant pebble can start a landslide or send out ripples, even as it silently falls through the dark depths of anxiety.
So, these are words I would most likely never say out loud, so thank you for reading and carpe diem my friends!
#JustBelieve #HopeLives #LoveChangesPeople
This piece of flash fiction, if you will, came to me in a vision as I spent some quite time with God and this is what I saw in my mind as it was revealed to me. I believe in healing and that God can, and does, renew our hearts rescuing us from the darkness.
My sarcastic travels through life while trying to remain true to myself and not kill others.
Break the silence. End the violence.
by Sonyo Estavillo
Finding Jesus in the Midst of Everything
Our Time Is NOW!
If you want to impress me, undress your heart.
Back Room at the Parlour
Writings From My Heart
You can't break up with a soul mate
Everything In My Wirdo Head
A Day in the Life of a Kingdom Wife
Sharing stories. Encouraging hearts.
Blogging about different aspects of my life as an ultra orthodox chassidic Jewish woman and mother.
my journey out of the darkness
Spotlighting inspirational women and ways you can make a positive impact too
Although all doctors agreed she would do nothing.....
Hoping to change one life at a time with my words
Underground Energy - Scientific Documentation of the failures of an OCD albatross + friends
like thalassic velvet
she is confidence in shadows.
Letting it all hang out
travel, nature, reflection
Poetry, creative writing and a desire to inspire..... Isaiah 40: 31 But they who wait upon the Lord will get new strength. They will rise up with wings like eagles. They will run and not get tired. They will walk and not become weak..
A blog of creative stuff, updated monthly in all categories!
My Painting Creations & Works of Fiction
My simple journey
Love, Learn & Live with Bipolar Disorder
Find BIG inspiration in the little moments
Speaking for GOOD on the 20th of every month
Life's journey may not always be easy, but being true to your unique self and finding laughter in the small things makes the adventure unforgettable!
Musings Of A Poet Out Standing In His Field
Discover the truth about mental health
sustainability. compassion. inspiration.
Life inside a grace-filled home! Faith - Family - Homeschooling
A cruel, futuristic vision created by science fiction authors James Courtney and Kaisy Wilkerson-Mills. ©2013-2016. All Rights Reserved. All writings available through Amazon.
My mind poops here
Ramblings of an aspiring author & book blogger
An eccentric blogger with a pen and a thousand ideas
Vashti Quiroz-Vega, Author, Horror, Fantasy, Sci-fi, Suspense/Thriller Short Stories & Articles
Life in Silver Linings
Made to Create
Where Language and Art Collide...
by Kelly Lewis
Three geography-crossed poets finding life has much to bard about...
Words and Pictures
"Of this I am certain: The moment you said, "You are..." I no longer recognized myself. I am more than the woman you see. "