Grief, Life, Writing

She Comes Out of the Sun – "Hello"

“Hello” it was that simple little word that started it all in the fall of 1984. I remember the girl with long brown hair, tanned skin wearing a summer dress and espadrille sandals approaching the art table where I sat as the lyrics to the Al Stewart song The Year of the Cat rang through my mind.

She comes out of the sun in a silk dress running
Like a watercolor in the rain
Don’t bother asking for explanations
She’ll just tell you that she came
In the year of the cat

She comes out of the sun in a silk dress running – Like a watercolor in the rain https://youtu.be/tqW4xIr7nj0 Al Stewart “The Year of the Cat”

My voice trembled and I heard myself say with great effort, “I only want her to not be in pain.”

“That is all I am focused on.” He stated his voice low and measured. He gazed at me with a look of both sadness and resignation before turning and walking away.

Memory flooded back as I stood in the hospital corridor, the lyrics to “Peaceful Easy Feeling” by the Eagles chorusing through my mind.

I like the way your sparkling earrings lay
Against your skin so brown
And I want to sleep with you in the desert night
With a billion stars all around

I get this feelin’ I may know you
As a lover and a friend
This voice keeps whisperin’ in my other ear
Tells me I may never see you again

I like the way your sparkling earrings lay Against your skin so brown – And I want to sleep with you in the desert night – With a billion stars all aroundhttps://youtu.be/NjofshOBV5s Eagles “Peaceful Easy Feeling”

This post is excerpted from my upcoming memoir, tentatively titled – There is Always Hope.

My first wife died of breast cancer at the age of 26 after battling over the last three years of our short five year marriage and yes, cancer sucks.

Over twenty-five years have come and gone and still there is not a day that something does not remind me of her. The twinges of memory flit across my mind as a butterfly haunts a flower.

Be sure to click the follow button and subscribe and be one of the first to receive email updates about the forthcoming book and other happenings. I would also love to hear your thoughts so leave me a comment. You can connect with me on Twitter @mwschutter, Instagram @mwschutter or Facebook @mwschutter

#JustBelieve #HopeLives #LoveChangesPeople #YouMatter #BeAWarrior

Life, Poetry, Writing

Change this Way Comes!

Change is upon you whether you would risk it or not!

Welcome to my newly redesigned and updated author website. Thanks for visiting as I continue to actively write poetry, novels, short stories and my upcoming memoir for release and I would love to share it all with you.

I recently had several poems published in the anthology Broken Hearts — Healing Words by A.B. Baird Publishing. I am blessed to be a part of this great work that is dedicated to those who have loved and lost, and those who are hiding and healing.

“Broken Hearts — Healing Words” A Collection of Poetry edited Austie M. Baird and published by A.B. Baird Publishing. Get your copy today on Amazon > https://www.amazon.com/Broken-Hearts-Healing-Austie-Baird/dp/1949321096!

My memoir chronicles my experiences as a young man whose young wife battled cancer and eventually died after less than five years of marriage. I was totally unprepared for that and did what the world told me do, get on with life. Well grief is not so easily put off as I have discovered over twenty-five years later. My hope is the book will help others, especially men, young men who have experienced loss when the world tells us to be a man and that boys don’t cry.

My novel trilogy is a three book series set in the present day that combines the battle between supernatural forces of good and evil with highly advanced drone technology. The ensuing circumstances force the characters to question their faith in both a higher cause and in each other as they battle for their very lives and the fate of humanity.

“Judgement finds us all, the question is only where and when.” ~Mark Wayne (From the upcoming novel trilogy The Chronicles of Faith)

Thanks again for visiting! Please drop me a note here or connect with me on social media.

Writing

Sometimes it’s all worth it!

It is the eve of National Novel Writing Month 2019 (NaNoWriMo 2019), where we crazy writers jump in with both feet attempting to write at least 50,000 words in 30 days.

This is my second year in s row and 4th overall. I have accomplished the feat (50,000 words) each time and “won”. What that really means is I know have 3 shitty first draft manuscripts that I need to start editing. Yikes!

Well this afternoon I received notice that 3 of my poems had been selected for the short list and will be included in the Broken Hearts, Healing Words – An A.B.Baird Anthology.

I am so beyond grateful and freaking excited. Did not really expect this. Just goes to show sometimes it’s all worth it.

Keep writing my friends! You have a story that only you can tell whether it’s poetry, short stories, novels, fiction or nonfiction. #GetYourWriteOn

#JustBelieve #HopeLives #LoveChangesPeople

God, Life, Stories

Belief and Death – are the words so difficult to learn?

“Well, we have nothing if not belief.”

~Reepicheep

“The Voyage of the Dawn Treader” (CS Lewis)

A Grief Observed, as well as other books and writings, by CS Lewis have comforted, challenged and confirmed many of my own feelings at different times with their stark emotion and startling honesty. Almost thirty-five years and a vast ocean between two continents separated the experiences of Mr. Lewis and my own. We were at very different points on life’s continuum; Mr. Lewis was in his early sixties when his wife, Joy, died and me in my late twenties when my wife died.

However, the experiences of Mr. Lewis I read about are eerily similar to my own experiences. The feelings of pain, sorrow, guilt and eventually a measure of acceptance and healing that followed. Grief is a solitary road we must walk alone, however the words Mr. Lewis shared have always made me feel not quite so alone, especially during my own time of anguish and the dark night of my soul.

My hope is that my words, the things I share and put into the world can do the same for someone else. We are all sojourners here on earth and sorrow at one time or another will wrap its cold arms around us all and hold us close. In those moments, we need grace and mercy, for if my own experience is any indication in those dark times of guilt and pain there often vows and promises made that we are never meant to keep.