Life, memoir, Writing

Revisiting Chapter 13 – We Chose the Scars We Will Carry

We are all broken but sometimes, oh yes sometimes, the broken pieces of you and me come together beautifully. ~Mark Wayne

This chapter seems innocuous at first as I mention wandering through my thirties and into my forties after Luka died.

Moving on, as life continued, but not really moving forward.

There is a vast difference in my opinion, as time moves on regardless of what actions we take or don’t take.

So much changed, in my mind, in my heart and in my daily life after Luka died.

I lived in fear for so long and it still rears it’s ugly head even now almost thirty years later. The unknown and that we really have no control. Couple that with the feelings of grief that are so much like fear, as C.S. Lewis says in the book A Grief Observed.

The feelings of grief, loss, and pain often force us to reevaluate everything, or at least most things, for us to move forward. To start again, I don’t think of it as starting over, just another book if you will. You don’t throw everything away that you had, you carry it into the next story and each succeeding chapter.

I walk through a world remembering a young girl from over thirty years ago. Does anyone else remember? And I hear a voice in my head that asks,

“Will you remember me when forever comes and goes?”

Death of a loved one takes all we had, each promise and hope of a future together. It shakes the foundations of your belief and so often we simply, walk away burying the pain, the grief, the regret and even the love. Why?

Sometimes the scars are angry.
Sometimes they scream.
Sometimes the scars will bleed.
Sometimes they whisper.
Sometimes the scars…
are just what we need.

For it is in those moments that undoubtedly will continue to come, unceasingly as time moves forward, this is when we are free to choose the scars we will carry.

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 Read my thoughts on previous chapters of my memoir, links below.

Part 1 – Reconciling the Past

Part 2 – Embracing the Present

> If you are struggling with moving forward following a loss and searching for your best “life after”, reach out. Leave a comment or email me at info@markschutter.com,

I’ll follow up with some additional information and how to book a free call to chat and see if I can help. Thanks!

I am Mark W. Schutter, Grief Coach for Men and Author of the memoir 𝐂𝐨𝐰𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐒𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐂𝐫𝐲, and we all need a little support sometimes.

Poetry

Angry Scars

 Angry ScarsSometimes the scars are angry.
Sometimes they scream.
Sometimes the scars will bleed.
Sometimes they whisper.
Sometimes the scars…
are just what we need.

Each jagged line.
Each memory it marks.
Each time we remember.

Our past is gone,
forever we’re told.
We are left with tracks,
embedded deep within our souls.
Leaving behind what never comes back.

Each piece lost.
Each fading dream.
Each time we awake.

The future is bright,
with unwritten chapters.
A life forever He is sealing,
as our hearts cry in the dark.
On this journey we pray for healing.

Sometimes the scars are angry.
Sometimes they scream.
Sometimes the scars will bleed.
Sometimes they whisper.
Sometimes the scars…
are just what we need.

~Mark Schutter ©2015

Art, Life, Poetry, Writing

Scars Across Our Hearts

broken hopes leave
scars across our hearts
dripping crimson drops that leave a trail
easy to follow for those who would look

♥♥♥

few would dare to see the misery

the pain and the hurt

that lives deep inside of you and me

♥♥♥

lives are maimed
while souls are chained
the blood that flows leaves us weak and dazed
we pray for healing carried on wings of faith

~Mark Schutter ©2014