Promises to Keep – A Memoir

My 25 word memoir of grief.

As I work on my full length memoir I have read several books, both how-to and memoir’s as research. In the book “Braving the Fire” by Jessica Handler, she mentions the shortest story of grief attributed to Ernest Hemingway, who is said to have written the following six word memoir

“For Sale. Baby Shoes. Never Worn.”

Six words, that’s t leaves the reader wondering with unanswered questions.  I haven’t gotten mine down to six words yet, but I will keep working on it. 

In the meantime I continue working on the ‘shitty‘ first draft of my full-length memoir. I will be posting excerpts here on the blog soon, watch for more information to come and be sure to subscribe via your email to make sure you don’t miss any updates.

And remember grief is a shared human experience that we all must face. Grief is a natural extension of love and the lie is that we are either destined to live in utter despair forever or we somehow are completely healed. This is nonsense for grief irrevocably changes you, how could it not? You carry the experience with you for the rest of our life. 

#JustBelieve #HopeLives #LoveChangesPeople

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Stumbling Back and Chasing Ghosts

As I open doors I long ago slammed shut I am encountering parts of myself I was not aware of. It’s scary, cathartic and freeing at the same time. That is what writing a memoir of your experience will do.

Did I say that I am writing a book of my own journey through grief?

This book is for anyone who has lost someone they love and suffered through the resulting pain and grief. That means all of us, the shared human experience of life and death, love and loss, joy and pain.

Follow along as I will be posting more about this soon.

#JustBelieve #HopeLives #LoveChangesPeople

You Never Get Over It

The Young Girl

“That I Long Ago Wed and Who Drove Me Mad”

~Mark W. Schutter ©September 2018

 

The young girl that I long ago wed

Promising to love and cherish

Until death do us part

There was truth in those words I said

 

The young girl I held safe in my arms

When she cried from hurt

While our love grew

I attempted to shield her from harm

 

The young girl who held nothing back

We feasted on love and lust

Unaware fate conspired

To cleave two souls and fade to black

 

The young girl who endured the pain

Of the cancerous disease that arose

A future uncertain

And rarely did she ever complain

 

The young girl in a faithful anguish

Moments of joy midst affliction

As her star began to fade

A beautiful life now left to languish

 

The young girl I gently held her hand

Watching as life slowly slipped away

Until her last breath

And it was all I could do to stand

 

The young girl I gently closed her eyes

No more sight and nothing to see

Worlds she now explores

With eyes that went blank when she died

 

The young girl from who I slowly turned away

My heart beat loud as I silently wept

The long walk leaving behind

Every dream gone and I could not stay

 

The young girl is now just a lifeless shell

All the memories a distant reverie

My heart now shattered

Knowing that I have entered hell

 

The young girl lies tranquil in a wooden box

All prettied up in peaceful repose

Her struggle now done

A life put away in a human breadbox

 

The young girl lay for everyone to see

A lifeless corpse is all that is left

My strength now gone

Sitting front and center is killing me

 

The young girl lies while they all file past

Alone I stare into the dark void

My hopes now taken

The answer was no to each prayer I asked

 

The young girl towards her I slowly reach out

Placing a single red rose upon her chest

Those red lips I kissed

They are cold and stiff she is gone no doubt

 

The young girl to ashes and dust she returns

The small container I must carry away

Life’s arc from birth to death

In the light of time she will forever burn

 

The young girl I take over land and sea afar

To a place where the waters are alive

Calling forth another life

A dance beckons journeying to the stars

 

The young girl now flies free in the slipstream

Her ashes spread to eternities embrace

Promises kept of a dying wish

Into the undiscovered now just a dream

 

The young girl who left me a wandering nomad

I carry hope of once and a future again

I chose the reality of love

And the young girl who drove me mad

~The End

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Death and grief; you accept it, you learn to live with it and you go on, but you never get over it. I know this all too well from my own experiences over the last twenty-five years. This poem came to me late one night before drifting off and I wrote it down the next day with very little editing. I still remember so much as if it happened yesterday and it is the smallest of things that my memories fixate on and my mind sees with a surreal clarity.

Thanks for reading and just believe that hope lives. ~M