in the light and in the dark
we fight the battles and we survive the wars
hunting ghosts in shadows and searching for answers
in our minds dark and hidden from our sight
haunting visions linger and death does matter
hands are now cold and a beating heart stilled
beyond our grasp and falling over the edge
we yearn for time and one more chance
a smiling laugh and touch of compassion
before we will fade and leave memories behind
into the undiscovered and alone into the alone
∼Mark Schutter ©2015
I believe in life and I believe in death in this life. And to quote C.S. Lewis, “There is death. And whatever is matters. And whatever happens has consequences, and it and they are irrevocable and irreversible. You might as well say birth does not matter.” It matters to all of us, but I also believe in a better life after this one when we will journey into the undiscovered. I pray that you will be there also. ~M
#JustBelieve #GraceWins #HopeLives
Is this 15 minutes in front of the multitudes on an epic world stage; portraying an image’ playing a part that is never meant to last or chasing the material dreams of society, which just as quickly fades to black?
Or is it those moments in your life when you make a stand for what is right. You make a decision to fight and turn away from the seductive pull of self-absorption and self-love. To turn from evil and the lure of what society tells us will make us loved, popular and rich. To sacrifice and to love no matter what the cost. The moments in between the events in our lives when we slow down and extend a helping hand, a smile or a hello.
The true moments of eternal fame can happen more than once and so often occur when no one is watching, except perhaps a gathering of angels who applaud and cheer unseen by us in this world’s physical realm!
From the DC Talk song ~ “What if I Stumble”
Is this one for the people, is this one for the Lord? Do I simply serenade for things I must afford?
I believe we find our true significance not in what we do as much as in how what we do impacts others. Your 15 minutes of fame only matters if it in someway touches others and makes a difference in the lives of others. I so often struggle with the silence that often accompanies the moments following the posting of my art whether a drawing, painting or writings. I must remind myself that whatever talent I possess is a gift I have been given not to make me famous, but to share it all with others.
One of my biggest joys comes in those moments when my daughter wants to stand next to me at the drawing table and create her own ‘masterpiece’ cause that is what daddy does. The impact of our daily actions we may never know while in this life, but will live on long after us as the effects ripple forever into eternity.
If it is true and each person gets 15 minutes of fame, (I believe we get the opportunity not just once but over and over again) then it is our obligation and duty to not waste it. Ever aware of the importance of each individual life and the impact we have on others especially those closest to us such as family and friends who we so often take for granted, as CS Lewis wrote:
“There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. But it is with immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit – immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.”
Are you loving deliberately, doing the next right thing, speaking life and positively impacting others?
I look up at the night sky. Is anything more certain that in all those vast times and spaces, if I were allowed to search them, I should nowhere find her face, her voice, her touch? She died. She is dead. Is the word so difficult to learn? ~CS Lewis ‘A Grief Observed’
As I re-read the CS Lewis book ‘A Grief Observed’ the above excerpt got me thinking, and yep, I eagerly plunged down the rabbit hole. I have read this book numerous times and I have lost count over the past 20 years when I read it for the first time in 1993, shortly after the death of my first wife. This small book has given me comfort, assuaged my grief although in entirely different ways each time. Each time I re-read the words I have been at a different stage in the grieving process and my life.
The year of 2013 marks 20 years since she died at the age of 27. Far to young for one to die, especially of metastatic breast cancer, forgive me, an older women’s disease. I was left alone as a young man with a suitcase full of dreams and suddenly most would never come true. It was time to create and pursue new dreams, which I have been attempting to do over the past 20 years.
I am very happily married to a wonderful and beautiful woman (Carri) who loves me in spite of me and we have an amazing young daughter. I am doing things I never thought I would, but sometimes I cannot help but wonder; is it better than it could have been? Nonsense questions, maybe, but I don’t know. It is different and very amazingly good most days. I am happy and realizing despite some lingering survivors guilt; that life, this life is okay and that is simply life. Does that make any sense?
Anyway back to the passage above. CS Lewis is right; death matters, to all of us. Our own and others physical death is inevitable no matter how much we may choose to ignore it.
I have never had an encounter with the spirit, ghost, apparition, angel or whatever you want to call it of my dead wife. I have prayed hard for it, for some small assurance that she is okay, but nothing just silence from God and the simple phrase ‘trust me.’ Which I have struggled to do. I have wanted to search for her in all the ‘vast times and spaces’ of the night-time sky if only to selfishly comfort myself in this world. But as CS Lewis says, ‘I should nowhere find her face, her voice, her touch. She died. She is dead.’
I distrust all those who say they have been visited by loved ones who have died. Really? How can you prove that? But how can you prove love, is there any science behind that? Like trying to catch the wind in a bottle. Maybe we are creating our own illusion which needs to be washed away or maybe, dare I say it, it is something more sinister?
Maybe we cannot find the dead and they cannot find us? We are separated by the unknown, often adrift here in the physical realm disconnected from the spiritual realm. Maybe when we die physically and enter into the undiscovered that is when the beloved dead who preceded us will then find us? What do you think?
Two decades have passed; seems like yesterday, seems like an eternity.
As my mind wanders back down the roads that have brought me here to this point in my life I sometimes still wonder if it all is just a dream or something else. Something the human mind can never fathom this side of heaven’s veil.
“The desperate imaginings of a man dazed by what life has thrown at him.” ~CS Lewis
Questions have clamored for answers for so long but I have somewhat learned (or accepted) to live with the questions. It is the absolute cold silence in response to the questions that haunt my mind even more so, like shadows that can never be grasped. There are no answers this side of the undiscovered.
“The best is perhaps what is understood least.” ~CS Lewis
My memories are secure, albeit I am the first to admit not entirely accurate or true, as time has a way of reshaping history and the memories of days gone by. Most are beautiful and serene with the remembrance of a life and the love it brought and shown in this world. It is beyond my understanding, beyond mortal comprehension. So I hold the memories close resting in this simple consolation.
“Some moments can only be described in smiles; otherwise they won’t go into language at all.” ~CS Lewis
I must admit I do not understand it nor do I wish to pretend too. I know very little, but I do know this; my nonsensical questions often have, nor need no answers. What I do know is that life is here and now and is only lived forward.
“And the past is the past and that is what time means and time itself is on more name for death.” ~CS Lewis
Death a simple word really, only one syllable but containing worlds of promises, rewards, fear, mystery, beginnings and endings. It is a reality and one that we all must face.
“There is death. And whatever it is matters. And whatever happens has consequences, and it and they are irrevocable and irreversible.” ~CS Lewis
If you have read this far I applaud you for making your way through my ramblings to the end. I leave you with this one thought dear friends, that there is hope, for death is not the end.
(All quotations are taken from the book A Grief Observed by CS Lewis)